


Castle in the Snow

by QueenPotatos



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, I'll edit later, M/M, Queenish, and add a glossary later, and heavy treatment, mention of hospitals, when I'll have time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3500192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know," Haru says in a rush, as if something urgent was forcing him to, "Sometimes it's hard for me to go forward when you're not there ahead of me, to show me the path."</p><p>Haru rubs on the dishes harder, trying to ignore the heat of Rin's body enveloping his own, and the one of his eyes, obscuring his sight. "I'm sorry." He hears Rin say.</p><p>"What for?" He asks then.</p><p>"For always leaving you alone to deal with the mess I've caused." Rin murmured against Haru's ear.</p><p>For the first time in ages Haru laughs bitterly, at how painfully accurate Rin's statement is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castle in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

> ...I can't promise that you'll read through this without any pain.  
>  Thank you Iki for the beta; may I just add that there might be some weird tense use but it's because I'm a lil french shit.

 

 

 

[Castle in the Snow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQaBcNI_AoM)

 

*

 

 

Sousuke looks at the ugly figures behind the thick and dirty glass. Clowns, tigers, masks of all kinds...their faces make him sick.

 

"Why do we have to go here, of all places? Couldn't you get a wig elsewhere?"

 

"Nagisa is having a party." Rin answers him as he opens the dusted door. The owner must have forgotten to wash it maybe for weeks. "It's a fancy-dressed party. I want to impress them a little; it's been some time since I have seen the whole assembly."

 

"Nitori and the Mikoshiba's brothers will be there as well?"

 

"Yeah, I think. After all, it's an engagement party." Sousuke looks at him with something desperate in his eyes, something that cries 'Oh please Rin shut up with your stupid theories' but when he sees the wide, candid smile painted on Rin's brilliant face, his exasperation disappears like the foam hitting on the beach. "Haru told me that Makoto told him that-"

 

"Gou thought she saw them looking at some magazine which appeared to talk about marriage, yeah, I knew the story already." Sousuke says.

 

Rin sighs, "I easily tend to forget that my sister talks to you more than to me. It's kind of irritating."

 

"It's not like I'm dating her."

 

"Oh shut up. Don't make me regret the day I gave you my benediction."

 

Rin travels down the alley while Sousuke just stands in the middle of the shop. The owner is reading his journal behind the counter, he doesn't even play attention to them. The roof is definitely too low for Sousuke's sake, he can't wait to get out of this place - it makes him feel nervous. There are costumes piled everywhere, the clothes smell of old and maybe of mold. And it's far from Tokyo's center, on top of that. Definitely the last place Rin could have chosen a few months ago.

 

He tries a couple of wigs, all with flashy colors. "I want to be the Queen of the party." He says, and wings towards his friend. He finally opts for a light green one.

 

"You look terrible." Sousuke tells him, and it's actually the truth - it does not match the color of his eyes one bit - but Rin doesn't care.

 

 

 

The party is a success. Except that, Rin was right about the wedding thing - and it's not really something bad that two of his friends are getting married in Sousuke's mind, it's just that he would have preferred Rin to be wrong, for once.

 

The whole gang is here, so of course Haruka's there as well. Alone in the kitchen he prepares some meals, all made of fishes. Some habits are hard to break. In those times of change it's a good thing that Sousuke can find one unique constancy in his life - who could have thought the first day they met that Haruka would become such a precious person, essential to his well being?

 

"Hi." Sousuke says. Haruka answers the same, and his eyes quickly come back to the fry-pan. The conversation ends here, as always. Sousuke hums, not really knowing why, and gets back to the actual party - the one where Rin's green wig is hurting everyone's eyes with its terrific ugliness.

 

"Do you want something to drink?" Makoto asks when he sees him coming.

 

"Some coke would do it."

 

"You're much more well behaved when Gou's in the place, aren't you?" Sousuke takes the glass and empties half of its content. Gou's dancing with her friends and Momotarou. The young man is certainly standing too close for his taste, but Sousuke doesn't fell like making a scene for something as trivial as that.

 

"What can I say? It's the same for you, isn't it? Girls will be the death of us."

 

Makoto smiles, but the final result looks more like a grimace than something that comes from the heart. "I hope not." He adds. Suddenly Sousuke feels the need to come back to the kitchen with Haruka and the silence wrapping him. And, speaking of Haruka;

 

"Did he really quit swimming?" Sousuke asks out of the blue when Makoto is about to leave.

 

He makes a stop. "You mean Haru?" Sousuke nods. "Yeah, he did."

 

"Rin was out of him when he heard that." Makoto pours himself a drink and leans against the wall. Every time the two of them talk about their two best friends, it always ends up in a long discussion anyway so at least, this time Makoto makes sure he stands in a kind of comfortable position.

 

They're only cut when Gou's grasps her boyfriend's arm to dance. Makoto smiles kindly, and lets him go with her. He sighs and takes another drink. His eyes fall on Rin – how wouldn't they with this ugly thing on his head. No one will tell him of course.

 

Haru is still in the kitchen. When Makoto comes to check on him, there's only burned mackerel on the plates.

 

 

 

 

"That was really great guys. Congratulations you two!" Rin says at the doorstep.

 

"I'm so happy for you!" Gou takes Nagisa in her arms and holds him so much that the poor guy is about to suffocate. It makes them all laugh - except maybe Haruka but it's just his normal state, after all.

 

"Gou, could you please not kill my future husband before the wedding night?" Rei jokes.

 

"I can't promise anything." She says with her menacing voice, all the while grasping Nagisa's neck as if she was about to strangle him.

 

"Rin," Haruka says, eclipsing the actual conversation, "Can I have a word with you?"

 

Silence falls, every head turn toward the green wig. "Of course you can!" Rin answers with an honest smile. They disappear in the kitchen again.

 

Sousuke and Gou come home alone. They hear Rin joined them maybe half an hour later.

 

 

___

 

 

 

"Haru!" Rin calls him. Haru turns his head, not believing the sight displaying in front of his eyes. Of course, Rin isn't built like before, but he still looks incredibly attractive with his dark swimsuit. Haru's heart starts to quick up its pace, his chest feels so hot, his stomach is turn upside down just by the thought of Rin wearing a swimsuit again. And there's this flame, burning in Rin's eyes, which tells him that they are about to race.

 

Haru is so happy that he forgets to smile.

 

"They're giving me erythropoietin so beware, I might beat you this time." Rin jokes.

 

"What's that?" Haru asks as he puts his goggles on.

 

"For fucks sake Haru, it's doping! Jeez, I swear, you don't look like you're an athlete at all."

 

Haru just shrugs, the race starts. He beats Rin hand down.

 

"...Well," Rin is breathless, "I guess it's not enough...to beat you yet."

 

Haru has to help him out of the pool. Rin stumbles and grabs his arm. "Thanks." He says with a clumsy smile.

 

Haru hugs him, tight against his chest. He waits until they've parted to let the tears flow from his eyes.

 

 

___

 

 

 

"Hey, Matsuoka! Are you alright?"

 

The whole team rushes to their new member. Even if he comes from Japan, Rin managed to make friends with the whole team rather quickly - well, not with all the guys, but you can't get along with everyone.

 

"Yeah it's okay, really it's nothing." Rin reassures them, his hand under his nose, trying to stop the blood from coming out. It's the third time this week that he has a nosebleed.

 

"You're sure mate?"

 

"Yeah really it's nothing." Rin repeats with a smile. Some blood has found its way inside his mouth; it makes the whole assembly laugh, because Rin actually looks like a real shark.

  

 

 

"Come with me," The manager says after the little incident is over. Rin comes out of the nursery with a stick of cotton in each nostril. "Your times have dropped," the man said as he sits behind his desk.

 

"I know." Rin adds quickly. "But I'll do more effort, I'll train more, I just - I'm just feeling tired lately."

 

"Maybe you should see someone about that. I know you've been checked when you first came, but it's been six months."

 

Rin doesn't even frown. He just accepts the offer without flinching.

 

He flights back to Japan a week after that.

 

 

___

 

 

 

Makoto bursts the door open. "I'm here! I brought the meds."

 

"Quick!" Gou hurries to the kitchen and brings back a glass full of water. "Levofloxacine, 500 mg." She says. Makoto gives her the bag from the pharmacy.

 

"There's no need to worry," Rin's voice comes, his tone irritating - he almost sounds angry. "I'm fine."

 

"Give me your arm." The nurse said.

 

There's almost five people surrounding Rin sitting on the couch and three more looking at him with nothing but anxiety written on their faces. There's the nurse making the blood test, his mother caressing his short hair, biting back her tears in front of him - it's not like he hears her every night, though - Gou giving him his glass of water, Nagisa holding his arm and Rei standing just behind him.

 

He doesn't twitch when the needle break through his skin, but he winces when Nagisa holds on his hands harder.

 

"I just fucking sneezed, it's bloody winter, it's just a fucking, insignificant, _cold._ "

 

"You were having a fever!" Gou retorts.

 

"Only 38.1°C !"

 

"Fever is fever," Nagisa says. "We'd rather be certain it's not something bad."

 

"It's done, please press here." The nurse takes the blood tube and puts it in a transparent bag with Rin's name written on it. "I'll take it to the lab, they'll call you when the results are out."

 

"Thanks." Rin says, his voice softer. "Sorry to have you work for nothing though."

 

Gou hits him on the head with a pillow resting on the couch. "You stupid little arrogant piece of...Do I have to remind you in which state you were last time you said you were feeling fine!? You got your portacath infected!"

 

This time, Rin didn't find any answer to give to her sobbing face; he just drops his head, and then, looks at Makoto with tired eyes.

 

"Where's Haru?"

 

Makoto shakes his head.

 

 

 

 

It's the middle of winter but Haru is at the pool. He knows he can't jump in but the thought obsesses him, as if a voice in his head was endlessly ordering him to jump. He knows he probably shouldn't be here, but it's his own way to deal with anxiety, after all.

 

Makoto is there when he comes back home.

 

"The results are good, he's alright." He says as soon as their eyes meet. "It's really just a cold."

 

Makoto speaks the words as if he can't believe them yet. It takes them a lot of time to come back to such ordinary things, such as a cold in the middle of winter.

 

 

___

 

 

"Say Sousuke," Rin is on the phone, he doesn't even remember where exactly, "I know you're busy and all but I'm actually kind of stressed about this appointment. Call me back when you have this message. I just...I have the feeling that things will be better if you just come with me. Anyway, sorry to bother it's probably nothing. I'll see you later."

 

Rin checks his phone every two minutes the following day, but there is no reply. 

 

 

 

 

"Stop feeling sorry about that time, seriously." Rin tells him one day, weeks later. "It's not like your presence could have changed what had already been done."

 

"I know." Sousuke replies. It doesn't take the guilt away.

 

Rin sighs deeply, "I've called my coach. I've called mom. I didn't tell Gou yet-"

 

"I'm not doing it for you." Sousuke cuts. "You're her brother, she needs to hear it from you."

 

"...You're probably right."

 

There's a pause. Rin looks surprisingly calm and serene about the whole thing. It's not until his red eyes fall on the picture of the relay he won at regionals that Sousuke reads worry and fear in them.

 

"You want me to tell them?" Sousuke asks.

 

He watches, helpless, Rin's eyes lingering on Haruka's face.

 

 

 ___ 

 

 

"When is your next appointment?" Haru asks.

 

"In four days. I can't wait. The scar is starting to hitch." He answers. His hand scratches the place just below his right collarbone.

 

"You shouldn't touch, you know."

 

Haru turns his head away and heads to the kitchen. Plates aren't washed. He turns on the tap and lets the hot water run, fill the sink. Rin comes close and adds some dish soap, bubbles start to fly around them in the darkness of the night.

 

"Why did you quit?" He asks; it's not the first time that he does but each time the answer Haru gave him wasn't one of his liking.

 

"I told you already."

 

"You're lying."

 

"My times were dropping anyway." Haru takes the sponge and washes the dirt. He gives the foamed plate to Rin who cleans it away. "They were about to fire me."

 

"I can't believe you, not you."

 

Rin puts the soaking plates on the drainboard. There's only the sound of tap water hitting the stainless steel sink. The last bubble of soap flies towards Rin's face. He breaks it with his finger.

 

"They are so pretty, bubbles." He whispers. "It's a shame they're so fragile."

 

"You know," Haru says in a rush, as if something urgent was forcing him to, "Sometimes it's hard for me to go forward when you're not there ahead of me, to show me the path."

 

Haru rubs on the dishes harder, trying to ignore the heat of Rin's body enveloping his own, and the one of his eyes, obscuring his sight. "I'm sorry." He hears Rin say.

 

"What for?" He asks then.

 

"For always leaving you alone to deal with the mess I've caused." Rin murmured against Haru's ear.

 

For the first time in ages Haru laughs bitterly, at how painfully accurate Rin's statement is.

 

 

___ 

 

 

First, the nurse tells him to wash his hand, with soap and hand sanitizer - five doses, insist on the wrist and under the nails. Then Haru puts the mask on, then the gloves. Another nurse gives him overshoes and hands him the protective overall. They open the door for him.

 

In the sterile room Rin is resting, peacefully it seems. There's a scope next to the bed, reading 56 in green big numbers. Gou says it's normal of someone who had done a lot of sports in his life; yet Haru still thinks it's not beating fast enough.

 

There are three of four perfusion hanging over Rin's head.

 

"They're giving him blood and platelets. Plus the antibiotics, of course." The nurse says. "He's stable for now, but we still don't know if it's a relapse or just the effect of the chemo. We have to wait, and make a new bone marrow exam-"

 

"Can I touch him?" Haru asks.

 

The nurse nods, and leaves them alone.

 

Rin looks so pale with the white walls reflecting the lights. The blinds are shut down. It's almost night after all, but Haru isn't sure that people here open it for him during daylight.

 

In contrast to his skin Rin's lips are so red, and his eyes so dark. There's no bang to push behind his ear anymore but still, Haru caresses Rin's forehead with his thumb as if they were there.

 

"Hey..." Rin murmurs. The sound is weak and hollow, it's like it's coming from the other world; it makes Haru jump in surprise but Rin's eyes really are opened. "I look awful, don't I?"

 

"You do." Haru says, not able to lie - not wiling to, not to Rin; what for anyway?

 

"I'm glad you came." Rin closes his eyes. "I thought I would never see you again."

 

Haru holds his hand in silence for the next hour. Rin falls asleep quickly after he spoke those words. He gets out of aplasia five days later.

 

 

 

___

 

 

 

Sousuke still hears Rin's voice, the message he left on his phone the day of his first appointment at the clinic. It follows him, like a ghost, like a ball at his feet that anyone can see. It's written all over his face when he looks at his reflection in the mirror. Sousuke is a bad friend. Sousuke dropped his very best friend the moment he needed him the most.

 

He can't look at his face, not in this state.

 

Gou is working hard to become a nurse. He often goes home late after his night job to find her asleep on her desk with her books opened. Haru can swim for them both in the international stage and follows Rin's dream, a thing Sousuke cannot, because he had run out of steam. He had searched, for a very long time, for something he could do to help Rin.

 

He takes the razor in his right hand, and then looks at the image the mirror sends him back.

 

It's way much better right now.

 

He raises his arm to the base of his hair.

 

 

 ___

 

 

 

They were having a party, to celebrate something none of them remember today. The five of them were there. Rin had come back unexpectedly from Australia just a couple of days ago. Everything was fine, just a few moments before.

 

Haru is tipsy, his head leans on Rin's shoulder like a butterfly resting his wings on a lamp. It burns, but Haru can't help it. It burns his already reddened cheeks, his face his neck his torso burn against Rin, each time he has the chance to touch him like that. Alcohol makes him horny, he realizes. Or maybe it's just Rin, or the two of them combined. This ridiculous new attraction to Rin's body more than to the hidden feelings he's got for him maybe since, forever, is something rather disturbing, especially since they are three other people around them and that Haru still doesn't know if Rin likes him in that way too.

 

But, even if he's not good with those kind of things, some details Rin drops here and there in the path of their relationship can't lie. The way he looks at him, small touches before races that are more than unnecessary, his jealousy...Rin can be so jealous when Haru talks to other people - fans, mostly - than it has become his favorite activity during meetings. The more Rin gets furious, the more Haru thinks he loves him.

 

Are they going to play hide and seek until death tears them apart? That would be such a shame, Haru thinks.

 

"Haru, can I have a word with you?"

 

The world was doing so fine a few second before Rin spoke.

 

 

___

 

 

Climbing on top of the Mont Fuji isn't, by far, the most tiring thing Haru has done in his life. Doing it with Rin on the other hand, is a trial in itself.

 

Midway to the top, Haru starts to wonder if he's going to make it. It's starting to get cold. Some people often do the trip in two times. Why not them? There's no shame in it.

 

But it's not how Rin wants to do things, apparently.

 

He just doesn't realize how awful it is for Haru. His worries are crushing him. He looks even more breathless than Rin - and actually he is.

 

"Come on!" Rin shouts. There's a lot of wind and it has to be cold, on top of that. "We're never gonna see the sunrise if you keep being slow like that, because we'll be dead frozen!"

 

"Rin, it's not too late to go down! There's a refuge just twenty minutes from here."

 

"I know, I've seen it too, and I chose to go on. But you can go back if you really don't feel like climbing with me. Chicken."

 

Anxiety turns into anger, but at least it does not paralyze his legs.

 

And as if things weren't bad enough, it suddenly starts to snow. The night falls, there are less and less people walking the same path as they do.

 

"Hold my hand." Rin says, and Haru gives him his without thinking. The path becomes a narrow one. Even if he doesn't really need to, it reassures him to physically touch Rin, to know that he is still there.

 

Rin is still there. They are climbing the Fujiyama together. It's just as simple as that.

 

And yet when Haru's hand gets so cold that he doesn't feel it anymore, he stops feeling Rin's as well; and it's like he has never been there with him. The night has fallen, it's pitch black apart from the moonlight and the lights coming from the refuge's windows, a few meters on top of them. Haru can barely hears Rin walk. All of his senses are telling him that Rin is not there.

 

The grip of his fingers tightens. "Ouch!" He hears, coming from ahead. Haru recognizes Rin's voice but his mind won't allow him to rest. The fear of losing Rin - of having lost him already - is too strong to be wiped away with just a simple 'Ouch'.

 

 

 

"And...we're...done!" Rin exclaims as they reach the top.

 

Haru's hands fall on his knees. Just ahead of them there's the last refuse. Rin's celebrating, his fists are up in the air, trying to touch the stars. "I'm exhausted!" He says triumphantly. His laugh continues to fill the air when Haru stays deadly silent the whole night they stay in the safe place before sunrise.

 

The sight is stunning, nothing unexpected - people just don't climb a mountain for something as ordinary and universal as a sunrise. It's just the eternal cycle of life. The dawn of a new day. The proof that Earth spins on itself. It's just time passing by, ignoring the lives of humans living under its grip, ignoring their pains, their suffering, and sometimes if they're lucky, their moments of indescribable joy. For once and it's rather a big surprise, it's not Rin who starts to cry. The tears fall on their own, their true meaning unbeknownst to Haru's mind. He does not feel incredibly happy or sad, and he is not the type of guy to cry just for something so futile as that.

 

"What's wrong?" Rin asks him.

 

Haru wants to laugh at his face. What's not wrong should be the proper question to ask. You fell sick. You stopped swimming. You almost died. I almost lost you again. I want to watch the sunrise with you every morning until the last day of my life and I'm scared that this one will be the last. Haru hides his face between his knees and starts to sob. 

 

"Hey," Rin repeats, this time softer, "Haru what's going on? What's the problem, aren't you happy to be here?"

 

"Why did you want to do it?" Haru bursts. His eyes are red and snot goes down his nose to his lips - he sniffs loudly. "Why now?"

 

Rin frowns. "Because, why not?"

 

"There's a million reasons for you not to! It was too dangerous! You could have - you could have -"

 

"What, died?" Haru gasps against his will. "Is that what you're so scared of, just like anyone else?"

 

The answer makes his mouth bleed. "Yes." Haru says nonetheless. Right now it feels like a horse is walking on his chest, crushing his heart on the ground, just like Rin's decease had for the past year. A millions of needles pierce his defense. Rin still looks so pale under the early sunlight.

 

Rin is laughing, sarcastically just like the day they swam together in the relay at regionals. "I fell like dying more than once when I was in the sterile room and trust me, I'm feeling much more better now. And, as stubborn as you all are-"

 

"We're just worried, it's only natural." Haru says, defensively.

 

"And that's what's killing me!" Rin shouts virulently, "You're all, so much worried and scared because of me, all of your negative feelings and your seriousness and your gravity and - all of that, all of those things made me suffocate."

 

"It's only because we love you that we were acting like that! Don't...don't you dare resenting us for that, you can't do that, not after everything we've been through."

 

"Come on, look at you Haru; you talk like you're the one who'd been sick."

 

"You're still sick." Haru says coldly. "Something as severe just doesn't come and go like that."

 

"My blood results are fine! The doctor said I was in remission. Do you know what it means?" Rin asks.

 

"But you need five years of remission to be called cured!" Haru replies.

 

"And are you going to wait those five years to be with me?"

 

"I don't know!"

 

Never has Haru imagined one day that they would confess like that - during a fight; but that's just how the two of them are, in the end. Rin looks incredibly calm for such a romantic freak - which reminds Haru that they have just watched the sunrise on top of the Fujiyama together, and then only he realizes it has been Rin's goal from the very beginning, maybe, probably.

 

"I'm scared," Haru confesses, "I'm so scared of losing you. That day when I watched you sleeping in your hospital bed, holding your hand through the latex of my glove, you looked like a corpse. I totally crumbled when I came back home. I won't be able to do that again. I really won't."

 

"Is that why you didn't come, in January when I got my cold?" Haru nods, hiding his face again away from Rin's gaze. He can feel he isn't judging him but still, the shame is something he can't bare to show to him - even if it's better than pain.

 

"You know, I never was scared to die. What scared me the most was to die alone." Rin tells him with his eyes stuck on the orange sky. The rare clouds are colored with pink light colors, they look exactly like cherry blossoms floating in a pool. "That's why I was really, very happy when I saw you coming to see me when I was in my worst state. I thought that if you could do it now, you'll do it every time. That I...could...count, on you, that I've found solace in the blue of your eyes - since it's the only thing I could see from you. And then, then when everyone thought I was sick again you just - where were you, Haru?"

 

Haru of course knows the answer. He was running away. And he knows Rin knows it as well.

 

"I want to be with you." He finally says, after a moment of religious silence, "I really do. I won't run away, ever again. I want to stay by your side and hold your hand, for as long as you're willing me to."

 

 

 ___

 

 

Sousuke sits in the waiting room. There are dozen of magazines, dated from last year or even from before, with all of their crosswords done. In front of him there are other people, waiting as well. Some are anxious, some are old, some are young, there's as much women as men. The diversity of patients is something that impresses him in a way. Before Rin, at least, it would have definitely surprised him. Sickness is not something that's written on someone's face.

 

Rin gets out after fifteen minutes. He shakes the doctor's hand, they're both smiling - it makes him smile as well. That can only mean good news.

 

 

"Well, I still have some blood tests to run once a month, but apart from that-" Rin takes a sip of his coke. "He told me that we'll have to meet twice a year for three years, or if anything's wrong."

 

"So, that's it?" Sousuke says, and he turns the wheel to drive him back home where Rin's mom are waiting for them.

 

"Well, yeah. That's it."

 

It's a sunny day of June, a week before Haruka's birthday. For the very first time in ages, Sousuke lays on the grass of Rin's garden, listening to the insects and frogs and birds singing. He closes his lids, sleep comes in the blink of an eye, stroked by the heat of the summer and his new found blithely life. The world has turned back to its usual pace, and;

 

That's it.

 

 ___

 

 

There's a chimney in the refuge; the fire crackles, Rin is sleeping peacefully in Haru's arms. They have come back to sleep after the sunrise. Rin can have a big mouth sometimes; his hemoglobin isn't that high yet, the lack of oxygen certainly worn him out more than he expected - or he did, but he chose to ignore it for Haru not to notice. It doesn't change a thing though, because Haru is not going to run away.

 

Rin rolls in his back and then to his side, his eyes are opened and facing Haru's. "I got a call, two days ago." He says sleepily, as his finger caresses Haru's skin. "I have to go to the clinic again in a week. They have found me a morrow."

 

"Ha, that's good." Haru mums, and kisses his forehead.

 

"Yeah, 'that's good', it's just what will definitely cure me but yeah, 'good' is a...fine adjective to use, I guess, definitely."

 

"You're going to have a morrow transplant then?"

 

"Yeah," Rin says with a laugh, "I guess. Can you believe it, a complete stranger is going to give a part of his body for me to keep on living. And I am," Rin nuzzles Haru's neck and hums his scent. "Completely naked with you in a bed, on top of the Fujiyama."

 

They laugh quietly together. No, Haru can't believe it yet; it'll certainly take him time to register all that - maybe, in five years, he will have.

 

"We should come here next year." Haru says lazily; his body feels incredibly tired but also at peace, his nerves have finally started to rest and Rin is comfortably warm against his skin. "And the next year after that."

 

"The next fives years until I'm definitely cured." Rin adds.

 

"And then?" Haru asks.

 

"Well," Rin says, "We'll see. But we'll have the rest of the world to conquest. I plan on going back to training by the way. You should start swimming again before I kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit on your butts."

 

"Do you really think I'll let you win so easily?"

 

Rin doesn't say anything. Instead he gives Haru the best sight of him, the one Haru has always longed for, the one he has been chasing since the day Rin first left for Australia. When Rin smiles he looks like his twelve years old self, again; it challenges and beats any theories about time and the cycle of life. When Rin smiles, he looks timeless, almost immortal; and when he's holding him close to his heart Haru can't help but feel eternal as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Because sometimes, people get better. Sometimes, we save them.
> 
> I'm kind of sick of people dying in my service and then, there's this acquaintance of mine who's having her first chemo this week so I kind have to write something like this, and I wanted to share the hope with everyone.
> 
> All resemblance with others fics you could have read coming from my favorite author are honestly fortuit - it's cool to write something and then, in the middle of it you're like 'hey it reminds me of something-OMG NO' but it's too late anyway haha...sorry about that. 
> 
> (also, sorry for the hospital scene)
> 
> (May I add also something terrible that will cause me to hide in shame for at least, a whole month, but
> 
> Penny,
> 
> This is my love letter to you.
> 
>  
> 
> Even tho it's kind of crap. Gomen.)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


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